Eight instances in life where staying silent is the best thing to do

Know when to keep silent

BY Mark Olweny-Omalla

In life, the moments we choose to stay silent often speak louder than any words we could utter. Silence, when used wisely, can be a powerful tool for handling various situations effectively. Whether it’s cooling down during an argument, listening more intently, or deciding not to engage in gossip, knowing when to hold your tongue can change the outcome of many scenarios for the better. 

In this article, I explore eight specific instances where silence isn’t just golden, but is advantageous. It  allows you to navigate your life with more wisdom and grace.

1. When you’re angry

We’ve all been here. Caught in the heat of an argument, emotions are high and everyone’s on the defensive. It’s in these instances that staying silent can be  most beneficial. When we’re angry, we tend to say things we don’t mean and later regret. It’s a knee-jerk reaction to protect ourselves and our ego.

But, is it really worth it?

Choosing to hold your tongue can prevent a lot of unnecessary heartache and damage. It allows you to gather your thoughts, calm your emotions, and respond in a more controlled manner once the storm has passed. And it’s not just me saying this, in fact, many wise people have expressed similar views that everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. So next time you’re fuming, remember silence may just be the best response.

2. When you’re unsure

Confession time! I hav been guilty before of trying to sound knowledgeable about a topic I knew little about. But guess what? It backfired. I was in a meeting discussing the movements of the Luo. Wanting to impress, I jumped in with my thoughts, only to realise they were unfounded and wrong. The room went silent and it was painfully clear that I had no clue about what I was talking about. Silence would’ve been golden, before I made my views heard, in that instance. If you’re unsure about something or lack the necessary information, it’s okay to stay quiet. It gives you the chance to listen, learn, and gather the information needed to form an educated opinion. As the old saying goes, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt that you are actually a fool”.  

3. When you’re listening

Listening is an art that not everyone has mastered. In my journey as a mindfulness enthusiast, I have learned that listening truly to someone, can make a huge difference. It’s when we are silent and attentive that we are able to comprehend and understand what the other person is saying. It shows respect and allows for effective communication. It is about being present, but letting the other person speak, without planning your response or interrupting with your own story. 

4. When criticism isn’t constructive

Criticism is a tricky area. When it is constructive, it can lead to growth and improvement.  But when it is plain negative, it can be damaging and unproductive. We are more likely to remember and react to negative experiences than positive ones. This means that negative criticism can stick with us and affect our self-esteem and performance. So, what should you do when you’re faced with unconstructive criticism? Stay silent. Responding to negative criticism often just fuels the fire and wastes your energy. Instead, choose not to engage. Take a moment to reflect on whether there’s any truth to the criticism. If there isn’t, let it slide. How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. So, choose silence as your reaction to unconstructive criticism.

5. When your silence can speak volumes

Here’s a twist. Sometimes, staying silent is the loudest statement you can make. Sounds paradoxical, right? There are moments when you are expected to react, to defend yourself, to argue back. But what if you don’t? What if you choose silence instead? In those instances, your silence can be a powerful tool. It can communicate your disapproval, your boundaries, or your refusal to engage in negativity.

6. When someone else is taking credit for your work

It’s a tough situation to be in. You have worked hard on a project or function, only for someone else to swoop in and take the credit. It is natural to want to stand up and shout about your involvement. But, is that the best course of action?  Does calling them out publicly benefit you or does it make you look petty? Is there a way to handle it privately? Often, staying silent at the moment and addressing the situation later can be more beneficial. This protects your professional image, and reduces workplace drama.

7. When you are processing grief or loss

Grief is a heavy burden to bear. When loss hits, it can feel like a tidal wave of emotions that leaves you gasping for air.

People often feel the need to fill the silence with words of comfort, condolences, or even well-meaning advice.

But sometimes, all you need is SILENCE. It allows you to process your emotions, to reflect, and to just be with your feelings. It Is okay not to have any words to say. It is okay not to be okay. And it’s more than okay to seek silence and solitude when you are navigating the rough waters of grief.

8. When you’re tempted to gossip

We all know how enticing a juicy piece of gossip can be. It’s like a siren’s song, luring us into sharing it with others. But here’s the thing, gossip breeds negativity. It can harm relationships, damage reputations, and create a toxic environment. When the temptation to gossip strikes, staying silent can be your best bet. It shows your integrity and prevents unnecessary drama. Abstaining from gossip also helps in fostering a positive and trustworthy image for yourself among your peers. After all, if you don’t spread gossip about others, they are more likely to trust that you won’t spread it about them either.

 Reflecting on the power of silence.

Understanding when to remain silent can significantly enhance the quality of both our interactions and our internal peace. The above eight scenarios underscore the diverse benefits of choosing silence - from avoiding unnecessary conflicts and fostering deeper understanding to preserving personal dignity and strengthening emotional resilience.

Silence is not about inaction; rather, it’s a strategic choice that can lead to more thoughtful and impactful actions. By recognizing the power of silence in these instances, we equip ourselves with a subtle yet strong tool to enhance our relationships and personal well-being.

Remember, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.

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Mark Olweny-Omalla,  Koch Clan Leader.

e-mail: markolweny_omalla@yahoo.com